In a way, having sex is like taking part in a sport. It is fun to take part in sports but it is even better when you win. When having sex, winning is equivalent to having a mind-shattering orgasm that leaves you feeling weak at the knees. Sadly, for many women the possibility of winning a sporting event is more likely than having a satisfying sexual session. Having said that, there are some tricks you can quickly learn to help improve your chances of great sex.
1. Don’t try to memorize the Kama Sutra
Although there are certain positions that will give you more enjoyment when you are having sex, there is no right or wrong way, or right or wrong positions. What one woman enjoys will not be satisfying for the next, so the best way is to experiment with your partner to find out what positions bring maximum pleasure. Because different parts of the vagina are stimulated depending on the position you use, changing positions could make a big difference. Some women find that being in control brings them more excitement, and therefore they prefer being on top; whereas others will prefer a more submissive position. So do not try to memorize the Kama Sutra, because what works well for one woman will not necessarily work for another.
2. Exercise the muscles of the vagina
Because an orgasm is a muscular contraction of the vagina if the muscles aren’t well toned it may be harder for you to achieve a strong satisfying orgasm. Squeezing and relaxing the vagina muscles as though you are trying to stop the flow of urine helps make the pelvic floor muscles stronger. These types of exercises are known as Kegal exercises and can have a very positive influence on your orgasm.
3. Sexy talking
Some women find that their partner talking to them during sex is a real turn on. Sexual excitement is as much mental as it is physical for women so ask your partner to help improve your sex life by talking to you. Some women like romantic sayings whispered in their ears whereas others find raunchy stuff gets the sexual juices flowing.
4. Learn orgasm techniques
If you have never reached orgasm it could just be that you don’t know how to. Masturbating will help you learn where your pleasure spots are and once you know this for yourself, it is far easier to reach climax with a partner. Sex therapists even pornstars from video-program two girls teach sex often encourage masturbation for clients who are finding it difficult to orgasm.
If you do not know where to start, try stimulating the clitoris with a vibrator. A small vibrator such as the Pocket Pleaser is an excellent device for a beginner because it’s small and non-threatening. You may even want to ask your partner for some assistance!
5. Don’t stop breathing
An orgasm is simply a contraction of the vagina wall muscles. When using any muscle you need a good supply of oxygen. If you’re in the habit of holding your breath when you are about to climax, you could be preventing yourself from having more satisfying orgasms. As you feel excitement mounting make sure you are continuing to breathe; you might find exhaling as you thrust improves the rhythm and muscle contractions.
6. Fake it
You might think that faking an orgasm is a complete waste of time and is not going to help you have a more satisfying sex life. However, faking it till you make it can help increase your body’s desire, and acting more over the top than what you feel can be exciting for both you and your partner, which will eventually lead to real satisfaction.
7. Take an active role
Many women make the mistake of thinking that the intensity of their orgasm relies on their partner’s physical actions. However, taking a more active role in the procedure can help improve the intensity of your orgasm. Try becoming more involved by moving your body and meeting your partner’s thrusts. If you’re naturally stiff and uncomfortable, try taking yoga lessons or even take up belly dancing, as these activities will help you to become more flexible and more self-conscious about your body.
8. Communicate well
Because each woman is different and will be turned on by different things it is important to communicate with your partner for him to know what turns you on. Some women like fast short thrusts whereas others prefer the action to be steady and slow. Unless you tell your partner what you want, he cannot possibly know. If you feel shy about telling your partner exactly what turns you on sexually, try simply telling him when something feels particularly good. This will encourage him to repeat it more often as the sight of you being turned on will also be a big turn on for him.
9. Change your leg position
Simply changing the position you hold your legs can have a huge effect on whether you are able to orgasm or not. Some women find that holding the legs together helps because it increases fiction, but others find it more satisfying to have the legs open. Because everyone is different, the only way to find out what works best for you is to experiment and see which way brings more pleasure.
10. Caressing the breasts
During the act of sex your man might forget to pay attention to your breasts, but this can be a very important part of satisfying sex for women. Encourage your partner to pay attention to your nipples as stimulating the breasts releases a hormone called oxytocin which helps increase the flow of milk when a woman is nursing. It has also been found to increase vagina contractions, which leads to a stronger orgasm. In the same way caressing a man’s nipples will help him reach arousal more quickly.
11. Clitoral stimulation
Although there has been much talk of the G spot in these recent years, the majority of women find that clitoral stimulation is the best way for them to reach a satisfying orgasm. Only around 30% of women say they have experienced orgasm through vaginal stimulation and a large number of these also stated that some clitoral stimulation was required. Lots of men are unaware of how to apply pressure to the clitoris, so don’t be surprised if you have to show your partner exactly what you need.
Concentrating on a favourite fantasy while having sex, is a great way to improve arousal. Fantasizing before you meet your partner can also help your brain be on the right track for a great orgasm. If you’re having trouble thinking of a fantasy, try looking online for some erotic stories.
For more tips check our review of 2 girls teach sex video-lessons as well as article called Top 10 Sex Tips for Men – Experience the Best Sex Ever.
British Broadcasting Corporation. (2012). “Safer Sex: Strong Content”. Published by BBC.Co.Uk. (Online). Available at: http://www.bbc.co.uk/radio1/advice/factfile_az/safer_sex
Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC). (2012). “Sexual Risk Behavior: HIV, STD, & Teen Pregnancy Prevention”. Published by CDC.gov. (Online). Available at: http://www.cdc.gov/HealthyYouth/sexualbehaviors/
Wikipedia – The Free Encyclopedia. (2012). “Sexual Intercourse”. Published by Wikipedia.org. (Online). Available at: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sexual_intercourse